If I was someone else
I’d sit back and enjoy the ride
I’d smile all the time and daydream every minute
I wouldn’t question everything
Or find fault with every move
I’d display my affections
And let him display his.

But I cannot show him my affection
Or be with him every minute
For fear of being in the way
Annoying him.

I don’t believe he likes me
He tells me, his friends tell me
But what does that prove?
I’ve been taught that no one likes me.

Just because he is mine
and I am his
Doesn’t mean a thing.
My past experience told me
that love is not as genuine as it should be.

Maybe this one is different
But I say that every time
Maybe he’s telling the truth
When he says he likes me
But I cannot see beyond my past
Or put my past behind me.

He says he cares
And I want to care
About him.

But I keep my distance
Like a cold wall between us
Because when I show I care
I am vulnerable
Open to rejection
I can’t show I care
Because
I’m just too scared.